How to Keep Your Cool During a Hot Emotional Time

I’ve always been wary of confrontations, shunning them at times I like to blame it on my astrological sign, Libra Ruled by Venus, the goddess of love, Libras search for peace and harmony, working hard to balance any oppositional forces

But in truth, I think it’s more than that Whenever I have to face a difficult situation with another person, there’s a part of me that fears getting tongue-tied or of things escalating so out of control that in the end there’s a bigger problem than I started with, rather than a resolution or any valuable forward motion

Yet, the reality is that you can’t always run from conflict In my own tireless quest for peace, there’s also that nagging need to have an oft-times spontaneous conversation to “make things right” or to “have a talk,” “straighten things out,” “get something off my chest” or “clear the air”

There’s a “right” way and a “wrong” way to handle a confrontation, I’ve learned by reading , the book I mentioned in my last post To start with, rather than call it a “confrontation,” the authors refer to talking to coworkers, friends, neighbors or family members as an “interview” And, just as you’d prepare for a job interview you would, wouldn’t you?, you can prepare—in fact, you must prepare—for this type of interview There goes spontaneity But there is a time and place for it, and this is it

So let’s throw out the word confrontation for now: it’s just too emotionally laden and filled with finger-pointing and bad endings

Preparation involves doing some homework According to the books’ authors, Mary Ellen O’Toole, PhD, and Alisa Bowman, here are some things you need to do before you ever ask a question:

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